Game on...

   Well the big day is finally here. Fire academy day 1 is Wednesday at 7:30am. It has been such a long time coming for me. The process to get in the program is painfully arduous... physicals and applications and vaccinations and waiting lists and financial aid... I began the process like a year and a half ago so its pretty surreal for me right now. My recent unforeseen life changes are weighing especially heavy on my heart the last day or so... Its funny how we all know life will never ever go according to plan but we still struggle when things don't follow our vision. This is certainly not the way I saw myself spending the days leading up to my first day and I'd be lying if I told you it wasn't hard. But just as we all know things will never ever go according to plan we also know that with change comes opportunity. I have before me such an incredible opportunity to find out what I'm made of... self discovery is nothing short of inevitable as I begin to write the next chapter of this crazy life of mine.
   I am so blessed to have such a great group of people in my corner. My family and friends have been so supportive and encouraging as I have become increasingly more anxious about starting the academy. Nervous is kind of an understatement. I have been in a lot of high anxiety situations as an athlete (national tournaments..super bowls..Johnson county parks and rec flag football dynasties)but the nerves are different now. Sports are sports and always meant a lot to me but this is my life... the outcome will have a legitimate impact on the rest of my life. The pressure is pretty intense. The unknown is whats really got me shaken up right now. I don't know anything except to show up in uniform at 7:30. I'm such a psycho planner-aheader so not knowing whats going to happen is driving me crazy. Everything you can think of is running through my head... Am I in good enough shape? Will I be able to hold my own with 35 grown men?? Do I remember how to read? I'm not saying I'm not confident... To quote Lil Wayne "..confidence is a stain they can't wipe off" Clearly a lack of confidence has never been a problem for me. I'm just nervous.
   I was out with some friends yesterday and I was talking to a girl I had just met about school. She was asking me questions about it and then she says "Isn't there like a height requirement? Aren't firefighters like six foot 220 pound guys?" So I kindly explained to her that there is not height/weight requirement and that we will all have to pass the same tests. I just know people are going to take one look at all 5ft nothin-125 pounds of me and think I'm a joke. And I hope they do. I hope everyone sleeps on me. Yeah I look 17, yeah I'm a touch on the petite side, but I'm also the biggest don't-judge-a-book by-its-cover Bitch they will probably ever meet. I love having doubters... It makes success all that much sweeter. I told some friends this over the weekend...But remember in fifth grade when you have to write out what you wanted to be when you grow up? Well my goofy little ass wrote that I wanted to play in the NFL or  be a firefighter. So four years of semi-pro football later I find myself knocking on the door of my second "what I'm gonna be when I grow up". I think that's pretty awesome.. there aren't too many people who can say they did what they set out to do in fifth grade.
   I read this quote that's pretty perfect for me...
"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” I am so excited about where I'm going and what I will become.
   Much love to everyone... thank you for the support. At the request of my B I will try to post a little something a couple times a week to keep you all abreast. <--- ha, I said a-breast :)