Funny how weeks of school can sometimes drag by but I blinked and spring break is over. It was a great week though. Rusty started me off right with a vintage Rus-Meg sunday funday... there really isnt anything better than a solid day drinking sunday with your best friend. Subsequently, I spent all day monday recovering. Wednesday my lovely sister and I went apartment searching (exhausting). Made for a long day but we found a place. At falcon falls where I used to work actually,but it is the best apartment we found all day with the best price so I am VERY happy to announce that we will be moving in the next couple weeks when I find some time. Went to Jen and Andi's wednesday night for a evening of deck sitting and story telling (always very entertaining)... love those girls. St. Patty's day finally arrived thursday and my B's and I dominated its life. Its all pretty fuzzy so I dont have many details to offer up but Im sure you can imagine what kind of day we had....so good I couldn't get off the couch friday lol. I went to Ericas saturday for some bridesmaids duties and to catch up with my girls.. and followed that up with a trip to Tegans for one last night of inebriation. And that was the cliff notes version of my week off school.
So back on the grind tomorrow. Exactly 60 days until graduation (I have a countdown on my phone :) Im trying hard to focus on the task in front of me and not at the end of the road. I dont want to look too far ahead and trip on whats right in front of me. I've unfortunately been very scatter brained as of late. My lack of focus is annoying. People who know me know that Im a rather emotional person... which is something I actually really like about myself. I think that allowing yourself to feel life is the only way to truly live it but Im finding myself tangled in my feelings sometimes. Its distracting. But thats just the way my I work I guess... always something on my mind.
The second half of the academy will go by fast I think. There is a bit less classroom work and more trips to the burn tower and skills practice and stuff. Im doing a 12 hour clinical shift in the ER this weekend so that should be fun. I think I have like 7 or 8 exams left. I'm actually excited to get back to work. Spring break was great but I felt lazy most of it. And I ate and drank too much. I need to get back at it and get my body right (summer will be here soon after all) The second half of my journey is sure to be filled with more hard work and sleepless nights but will turn out to be worth it in the end.
I hope everyone I didn't have a chance to catch up with over my break is doing well, and I'm sorry we didn't have a chance to get together. Two more short months and I wont be quite so busy. Thanks to everyone who I did get to see, it was certainly a great morale boost for me and just what I needed to head back to school refreshed. (although a little fattier than when I left :)
Love.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Halftime.
Hello ladies and gents.
As you may recall today is the beginning of my week long hiatus from school. And yes, I am spending my first night of spring break at home writing this blog. And yes, I am keeping a glass of wine company. And yes, Im completely and totally content. I am first class, grade A exhausted... too tired to go out regardless of my "spring breaker" status. It was a long week... short notice test on Thursday made what I though would be an easy week not so easy. I told that short notice test to shove it though..93% on minimal studying (yeah!) Today was pretty awesome. We went to a salvage yard and spent the day cutting up cars. I got to use the jaws of life and the hydraulic cutters... we had a durango disassembled and in half in like 15 minutes. It was a gorgeous day...65 and sunny. Although we were in full gear so it was pretty freakin hot and those tools are seriously heavy. So needless to say a chill Friday at home is in order for real. Besides, I have a full week to let loose :) :) :) :)
Moving on....to continue my football analogy we've made it to halftime. First and second quarters are in the books. And right in time might I add, I desperately needed a break. So as your halftime commentator I will run through the highlights from the first half...
The first quarter started out with yours truly being scared out of my mind. Unsure of myself, unsure of what to expect, unsure what I had gotten myself into. But me being the usual bull by the horns bitch I am, I offered myself up to be the class president and was chosen as such over the class douche. After a few weeks we all settled into our roles and got the hang of things. I've already gotten to do so much cool shit.... carry grown men down ladders, use thermal imaging cameras, go into actual burning buildings, cut cars in half, etc. It has been so much hard work but a ton of fun at the same time. The second quarter was more of the same. Aside from our daily quizzes we have taken 4 large exams and I am pleased to announce that I am the only person in the class to have scored A's on every test. Im certainly not well known for my academic ambitions but I made a promise to myself before I began this program to really push myself in the classroom. And I must admit it feels pretty good. I am a bit more well known for my physical abilities I suppose... not to say that I wasn't nervous about that aspect of this program. I honestly just expected to really struggle to keep up with my male counterparts. Lucky for me they didn't take showing up in shape very seriously and have made me look like a beast...although in my defense I worked my ass off before I started and have continued to do so throughout. That hard work paid off with my passing of the CPAT on the first try which was a huge relief. Of all the things that I have accomplished during this first half of school I think the thing I am most proud of is that I have been able to gain the trust and respect of my classmates as their leader. This was quite a daunting task to undertake seeings that our class is 24 men and 4 women, with an age range of 45 to 19, and guys who did serious time in the military, and so on and so forth. Im sure not everyone likes me, and I'm sure some of my classmates think I'm just a power hungry bitch. But the fact of the matter is that as a whole the class is behind me, they trust me, and they listen which is unbelievably humbling and gratifying.
Just as I figured I would I have learned so much about myself over the last two months. Or perhaps learned isn't the right word. Perhaps confirmation is a better way to look at it. I always thought I was capable... those thoughts were just seeping with doubt. Over the last couple months I have begun to wipe that doubt away and I am beginning to find my stride as self assured individual. Probably the hardest and longest two months of my life... Been a pretty brutal 5 months dating back to the end of 2010 actually. But a rolling stone gathers no moss... I just keep fighting the good fight ...and taking the path less traveled... (insert any other over used figure of speech about life here)
To round out this highlight reel I will leave you with some memorable moments....
~ to set the scene, we were all standing around before PT and I was saying how my shoulder was hurting lately and a classmate says "well cant you just go to the shop and get that fixed?" to which I reply "huh?" and he said "well you are the terminator, cant you just go get your parts replaced" we all had a nice laugh about that one and now half the class calls me the terminator.
~ I made the mistake of telling everyone how I am to be a bridesmaid in June for Erica's wedding and how I'm going to look silly in a dress with these shoulders. My Chief caught wind of this also and one day when we were being punished with push ups he yells at all of us to drop... and then says "time for us to do some "bridesman" push ups. Nice. That's the running joke as of late.
~ Another time during PT we were getting punishedfor sucking and I was getting pretty irritated...So I start yelling at the class and my chief while laughing at us states..."uh oh, Mamma's getting upset"...I about died lol.
I would just like to say thank you again to everyone for all the love and support. As hard as I've been working and pushing myself I would still be no where without my amazing friends and family. Your motivation and encouragement mean more to me than I could ever truly express.
~Love
oh, p.s. I can't wait to relax and see everyone over spring break!!
As you may recall today is the beginning of my week long hiatus from school. And yes, I am spending my first night of spring break at home writing this blog. And yes, I am keeping a glass of wine company. And yes, Im completely and totally content. I am first class, grade A exhausted... too tired to go out regardless of my "spring breaker" status. It was a long week... short notice test on Thursday made what I though would be an easy week not so easy. I told that short notice test to shove it though..93% on minimal studying (yeah!) Today was pretty awesome. We went to a salvage yard and spent the day cutting up cars. I got to use the jaws of life and the hydraulic cutters... we had a durango disassembled and in half in like 15 minutes. It was a gorgeous day...65 and sunny. Although we were in full gear so it was pretty freakin hot and those tools are seriously heavy. So needless to say a chill Friday at home is in order for real. Besides, I have a full week to let loose :) :) :) :)
Moving on....to continue my football analogy we've made it to halftime. First and second quarters are in the books. And right in time might I add, I desperately needed a break. So as your halftime commentator I will run through the highlights from the first half...
The first quarter started out with yours truly being scared out of my mind. Unsure of myself, unsure of what to expect, unsure what I had gotten myself into. But me being the usual bull by the horns bitch I am, I offered myself up to be the class president and was chosen as such over the class douche. After a few weeks we all settled into our roles and got the hang of things. I've already gotten to do so much cool shit.... carry grown men down ladders, use thermal imaging cameras, go into actual burning buildings, cut cars in half, etc. It has been so much hard work but a ton of fun at the same time. The second quarter was more of the same. Aside from our daily quizzes we have taken 4 large exams and I am pleased to announce that I am the only person in the class to have scored A's on every test. Im certainly not well known for my academic ambitions but I made a promise to myself before I began this program to really push myself in the classroom. And I must admit it feels pretty good. I am a bit more well known for my physical abilities I suppose... not to say that I wasn't nervous about that aspect of this program. I honestly just expected to really struggle to keep up with my male counterparts. Lucky for me they didn't take showing up in shape very seriously and have made me look like a beast...although in my defense I worked my ass off before I started and have continued to do so throughout. That hard work paid off with my passing of the CPAT on the first try which was a huge relief. Of all the things that I have accomplished during this first half of school I think the thing I am most proud of is that I have been able to gain the trust and respect of my classmates as their leader. This was quite a daunting task to undertake seeings that our class is 24 men and 4 women, with an age range of 45 to 19, and guys who did serious time in the military, and so on and so forth. Im sure not everyone likes me, and I'm sure some of my classmates think I'm just a power hungry bitch. But the fact of the matter is that as a whole the class is behind me, they trust me, and they listen which is unbelievably humbling and gratifying.
Just as I figured I would I have learned so much about myself over the last two months. Or perhaps learned isn't the right word. Perhaps confirmation is a better way to look at it. I always thought I was capable... those thoughts were just seeping with doubt. Over the last couple months I have begun to wipe that doubt away and I am beginning to find my stride as self assured individual. Probably the hardest and longest two months of my life... Been a pretty brutal 5 months dating back to the end of 2010 actually. But a rolling stone gathers no moss... I just keep fighting the good fight ...and taking the path less traveled... (insert any other over used figure of speech about life here)
To round out this highlight reel I will leave you with some memorable moments....
~ to set the scene, we were all standing around before PT and I was saying how my shoulder was hurting lately and a classmate says "well cant you just go to the shop and get that fixed?" to which I reply "huh?" and he said "well you are the terminator, cant you just go get your parts replaced" we all had a nice laugh about that one and now half the class calls me the terminator.
~ I made the mistake of telling everyone how I am to be a bridesmaid in June for Erica's wedding and how I'm going to look silly in a dress with these shoulders. My Chief caught wind of this also and one day when we were being punished with push ups he yells at all of us to drop... and then says "time for us to do some "bridesman" push ups. Nice. That's the running joke as of late.
~ Another time during PT we were getting punishedfor sucking and I was getting pretty irritated...So I start yelling at the class and my chief while laughing at us states..."uh oh, Mamma's getting upset"...I about died lol.
I would just like to say thank you again to everyone for all the love and support. As hard as I've been working and pushing myself I would still be no where without my amazing friends and family. Your motivation and encouragement mean more to me than I could ever truly express.
~Love
oh, p.s. I can't wait to relax and see everyone over spring break!!
Friday, March 4, 2011
good thing i can sleep when i die.
FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY! Did I mention its Friday? and I'm happy about it? What a crazy week. 2 huge exams, and a trip to the burn tower. I tried to spend last weekend studying but I was suffering from a serious lack of motivation. I think I spent more time looking at my books than actually reading them. But all is well. My test Tuesday wasn't as hard as I was expecting... I received a 93%, which I was happy with since I didn't go nuts studying for it.
Wednesday was our first trip down to the burn tower. KCFD allows our class to use their training facility down off front street. We arrived there at 8am and got to work right away. There were five stations set up that we rotated through. The stations consisted of a fire attack, rehab, ventilation, ladders, and a maze. The maze station was just that.. we, while in full gear (including air tanks) and blind, had to make our way through a maze designed to simulate being stuck in a debris field (wires, tunnels,stairs) there was a portion with a tunnel so small you had to take your air pack off and push it ahead of you to make it through. It was quite challenging but really fun... finally paid off to be small :) The ladder station was just practice for raising and climbing. We went about 35' up which doesn't seem like a lot but it sure felt like a lot when I was up there in the wind. We had to use a leg lock (stick your foot through and under the rung below you) and lean back just holding ourselves with that one leg. Ventilation was just practice using axes and chainsaws. The rehab station was for the group finishing the fire attack to rest and rehydrate. Now, on to the real fun stuff... being the class president my squad is afforded certain luxuries...i.e getting to go to fire attack first. The burn tower is basically a 7 story cement block. We were only in the first floor of the tower in one room. The fire was made using a stack of wooden pallets lit with torches. So, we were in attack groups of 3. The chief asked if we were ready and I said yes sir and he said "then why the hell is the nozzle still on the ground?" All three of us proceeded to stare at each other for a second in hesitation until I reached down and picked it up. We crouched up next to the door of the tower and clipped in our regulators. Chief explained checking the doors for heat and then we went in. My heart was damn near beating out of my chest. Not out of fear but out of pure childlike excitement. The funny thing about wear an SCBA is that you become keenly aware of your breathing because of the noise made when you inhale and your regulator releases the air. So my heart is racing and im breathing like I just ran a race...when in reality I crawled about 40ft. We come to the next door and I again check it for heat... its warm (through my fire gloves) so I turn around and yell "we got heat, we got heat" to my crew so they know we had a fire and that I was going to open the door. I open the door and there it is...my first live fire. It wasn't huge, probably like the size of two big campfires but it was still so exciting. And hot. We are required to crawl at all times but chief gave us permission to stand up briefly to feel the difference in the thermal layer. I was instructed to go in the burning room and spray water on the right wall (we couldn't totally extinguish the fire since the other groups had to go after us) so I begin to crawl in and my backup man proceeded behind me. I couldn't for the of me get the nozzle pointed to towards the right wall...I felt so weak... and as i struggle to get it turned my backup man keeps inching me towards the fire. We're talking like less than a foot for this giant pile of burning wood. And in my mind I didn't think something seemed right but what did I know? not much. I was my first time doing this. So the chief backs us out and then explains that the backup man cant follow the nozzle holder into the room because it makes it impossible to get the hose turned properly. SO, I felt better knowing I wasn't a weakling and I wasn't the one doing something wrong. He then looked at me and asked if I was ok...hinting at the fact that I was too close to the flames. My other chief followed us out and again asked me if I was alright...and he's not known for being an overly caring guy so I really knew I must have been too close. Anyway... sorry to make a long story long. The burn tower was great... great to finally get out of class and great to finally get some real fire.
After a long day at the tower I had to drag my butt home and study for the first big fire exam. 12 chapters... 6 weeks of information. Barf. Wednesday-Thursday Im pretty sure I singlehandidly supported the coffee industry. Maybe like 7 hours of sleep over the two days. Sit down to take my test this morning and I don't know the first question. Awesome. Im thinking all this studying was for nothing. 100 question test... and I was only confident about like 75 of my answers. My anxieties didn't get the best of me in the end though. I scored a 90% (highest in the class, holler :) Super solid week!!!!!! Have a great weekend!
Off to see my besties tomorrow!!!!
Love
Wednesday was our first trip down to the burn tower. KCFD allows our class to use their training facility down off front street. We arrived there at 8am and got to work right away. There were five stations set up that we rotated through. The stations consisted of a fire attack, rehab, ventilation, ladders, and a maze. The maze station was just that.. we, while in full gear (including air tanks) and blind, had to make our way through a maze designed to simulate being stuck in a debris field (wires, tunnels,stairs) there was a portion with a tunnel so small you had to take your air pack off and push it ahead of you to make it through. It was quite challenging but really fun... finally paid off to be small :) The ladder station was just practice for raising and climbing. We went about 35' up which doesn't seem like a lot but it sure felt like a lot when I was up there in the wind. We had to use a leg lock (stick your foot through and under the rung below you) and lean back just holding ourselves with that one leg. Ventilation was just practice using axes and chainsaws. The rehab station was for the group finishing the fire attack to rest and rehydrate. Now, on to the real fun stuff... being the class president my squad is afforded certain luxuries...i.e getting to go to fire attack first. The burn tower is basically a 7 story cement block. We were only in the first floor of the tower in one room. The fire was made using a stack of wooden pallets lit with torches. So, we were in attack groups of 3. The chief asked if we were ready and I said yes sir and he said "then why the hell is the nozzle still on the ground?" All three of us proceeded to stare at each other for a second in hesitation until I reached down and picked it up. We crouched up next to the door of the tower and clipped in our regulators. Chief explained checking the doors for heat and then we went in. My heart was damn near beating out of my chest. Not out of fear but out of pure childlike excitement. The funny thing about wear an SCBA is that you become keenly aware of your breathing because of the noise made when you inhale and your regulator releases the air. So my heart is racing and im breathing like I just ran a race...when in reality I crawled about 40ft. We come to the next door and I again check it for heat... its warm (through my fire gloves) so I turn around and yell "we got heat, we got heat" to my crew so they know we had a fire and that I was going to open the door. I open the door and there it is...my first live fire. It wasn't huge, probably like the size of two big campfires but it was still so exciting. And hot. We are required to crawl at all times but chief gave us permission to stand up briefly to feel the difference in the thermal layer. I was instructed to go in the burning room and spray water on the right wall (we couldn't totally extinguish the fire since the other groups had to go after us) so I begin to crawl in and my backup man proceeded behind me. I couldn't for the of me get the nozzle pointed to towards the right wall...I felt so weak... and as i struggle to get it turned my backup man keeps inching me towards the fire. We're talking like less than a foot for this giant pile of burning wood. And in my mind I didn't think something seemed right but what did I know? not much. I was my first time doing this. So the chief backs us out and then explains that the backup man cant follow the nozzle holder into the room because it makes it impossible to get the hose turned properly. SO, I felt better knowing I wasn't a weakling and I wasn't the one doing something wrong. He then looked at me and asked if I was ok...hinting at the fact that I was too close to the flames. My other chief followed us out and again asked me if I was alright...and he's not known for being an overly caring guy so I really knew I must have been too close. Anyway... sorry to make a long story long. The burn tower was great... great to finally get out of class and great to finally get some real fire.
After a long day at the tower I had to drag my butt home and study for the first big fire exam. 12 chapters... 6 weeks of information. Barf. Wednesday-Thursday Im pretty sure I singlehandidly supported the coffee industry. Maybe like 7 hours of sleep over the two days. Sit down to take my test this morning and I don't know the first question. Awesome. Im thinking all this studying was for nothing. 100 question test... and I was only confident about like 75 of my answers. My anxieties didn't get the best of me in the end though. I scored a 90% (highest in the class, holler :) Super solid week!!!!!! Have a great weekend!
Off to see my besties tomorrow!!!!
Love
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